Sunday, December 18, 2011
The Audacity of Nobility
My father was irrational. His tendancy to become entirely irate given the most miniscule of circumstances taught me to tread as lightly as I could and avoid any and all confrontation. This has bleed into me refusing to confront myself and, more epically, I fear emotional confrontation. Love I have down-pat. Passion burns in the deep of my heart. But I've come to severely undervalue sharing it with others. This isn't all due to my dad, and fear isn't the only thing he taught me. My dad was admirable in his steadfast (often foolish) dedication to his values. He lived to serve as best he knew, and from that I know can draw inspiration. In 2009, he dropped a bomb that rocked my world and shook my perception of reality. His past was always a mysterious shroud. All mystery was blown to the wind when he decided to become a woman that summer. Little did I know, this had been a hidden desire of his for the near 60 years of his life. His struggle with it almost ended him in his early 20s. Other things were in store, though. In the coming decades, he made his bed with Christianity and with my mother. While I can't agree with their passionless relationship (one that didn't make sense to me for so long, yet I never questioned it until this final piece fell right into my lap), I am more thankful than anything that their paths brought me here.
This is my paradox: my dad, who wasn't your traditional father by any means, raised me to hold true to my convictions and then, in the third act, brought the greatest irony possible into the story of my life. Since then I have witnessed him, once James Conners, now Jane Ireland, become more passionate and loving than I have known him to be for my entire existence. What then do I learn from this? A little bit everyday, but I can say I have learned that if you refuse to be yourself and follow your passions then you are doing the world a grand dis-service.
To deny your heart is to deny your life. I've been denying my joy of life. Moving from state to state, job to job, going through the motions and avoiding heartfelt connections because I don't want to lose something that I hold dear. It's almost a selfish downward spiral. The fear of having to let go kept me from holding on. So I drifted into the stars and watched the world turn 'round. I'm done being a passive observer. I came to the understanding right around the time that my dad came out that the world wasn't all rainbows and ponies. I knew there was hurt and deception, but I had previously turned a blind eye, thinking that society as a whole was in good hands here. As a whole, we have been missing a picture. A very important one.
Our consumer mindsets have drowned us in the here-and-now demand culture that we live in. While it still goes on, with every day the fact that something is wrong becomes more evident. From banks manipulating our financial stability to neighbors putting up fences that grow higher and higher. I'm no exception. The walls I have built are near impervious. Though I can't deny the beams of light that still managed to cut through. The problem with living behind a wall is that even when light dawns on your face, the best you can do is peer through the cracks.
I was born in 1989. That year a famous wall representing opression, fear and restraint was desolated in Berlin. Expression was free to run rampant throughout the streets. No longer was the grass greener on the other side. I'm done with the other side nonsense. This is my side, and this is the most glorious side known beyond man-kind.
My dad had the audacity to take a step that, from his world, was strictly forbidden. This step that's colored in shades of grey has brought undeniable color. For that, I commend him. Jane Ireland, I'm happy your steps have brought me, I'm displeased that you mistreated me, I undesrtand you did what you believed was right, and I commend you for being so noble as to step outside the box in pursuit of your dreams.
To my mother: I hold the deepest and most sincere awe of your love, compassion, dedication, and stead-fastness. You have an iron will grown from soils of pure love. You're beautiful and your sacrifice is more noble than all the epics of the past combined.
This brings me to now. The close of 2011, a week from Christmas. I'll have plenty of time to rest later. I'm a fan of adventure, love, and all that is magnificent in the world. I'm going to settle for nothing but celebrating each day of my life and each encounter I have from now on. I walked in love once, I never left that path, but I sure took a note from Rip Van Winkle along the way. I'm lacing up my shoes and embracing the world once more, eager to show that even the darkest shadow needs its light.
Hold on to your hats ladies and gentlefellows. Gabriel Evan Conners is back. I don't have all the answers, but I'm not letting that stop me. Perfection is unique.
Friday, December 16, 2011
I went searching for a homeless man.
I went searching for homeless man. I wound up joining the army. Well, the salvation army. I've been searching, rather, yearning for some time in life. I was wounded by life's trials and I hadn't found the courage to accept the world as I found it and my actions along the way. I wanted my answer to just waltz into my life. I've discovered that you're never going to find what you're looking for by sitting around or sticking to your usual routine. If you find yourself lacking, go find your luster.
I'm moving to Colorado in a week. From the plains of Oklahoma, this is quite the marvelous change in scenery. My move, ever-so timely with the awakening of my desire and passion, is beyond symbolic. This winter will usher forth the most resilient season of my life!
The adventures I will have and the things I will discover will be the stuff of legends. I have no desire to live my life as anything but epic so I shan't. For too long I have dealt on the negative things from my past. For so long was I distracted that I found myself underground, shaded from the light of the beauty of the world. I see myself in Plato's eyes, a man emerging from a cave, stumbling from the light, and coming to... To feel the rushing wind and realise he's on the side of a mountain. Talk about epiphany, can you see?
I found the homeless man. And I gave him bread, mac and cheese (still warm!) and a cookie. :)
Love the world--save the world
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Once upon a fancy plate
Speaking of sweat in the blistering heat, props go to those who live each day working in this weather. I'm putting my hands to the plow here and I'm forging new earth, making way for a season of fruitful birth. I'm working at Panera Bread, seeing how long it takes me to move up and conquer some parts of that company. I'm also going back to the grindstone of academia, starting classes at TCC here within the week. This marks a momentous occasion for me seeing as I left my academic career burning down in flames when I took my leave from OSU. We will see what fruit will bear from my adventures. I can tell you now it's going to be delicious and I will stack it all nice and neat and serve it upon a fancy plate for all to eat. Scrumdiddlyumptious!
Ciao!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
via de la café
I've been thinking about a wealth of things lately... nothing unusual, but I just might shed light on some various mysteries of the world... only in time, though, for duty, in her sweet call, beckons my hand in dance.
Ciao!
Monday, March 7, 2011
New Poat
There ^ are a few more for your enjoyment!
I've come out of two weeks of tons of work, though half of it was just training and because of the specific employment status I have I wont get paid for it :/. BUT, now I get to work and, in fact, WILL be getting paid money. Yes, currency in the form of US dollars will be awarded to me for my time working for Micahtek. Yay for liquid resources. I'd rather have a host of other things, but the way things work these days I need money to get certain things done, and there are certain things I need to get done.
I now am, more or less, liberated for the time being. In celebration of freedom, I present to you a little poem of I scribed recently:
~~~~~~~~
I'm also branching out a bit and venturing over to the land of tumblr to see what glories it may hold. See/follow
redcobbler.tumblr.com if you're so inclined!
Monday, February 21, 2011
A blog
Ode to Rain
I lay, awaiting the downpour
I found it on the horizon
I saw it move through the sky
Now I feel it in the air
It reigns the atmosphere
To usher forth an outpour clear
Cleansing, refreshing, renewing is its call
My body, the earth, welcomes this purifying fall...
I await to waltz with this glorious rain!
I do love the rain, it tends to bring such a magical touch to the world. So far as my place on this world goes, I am setting up camp in Tulsa for the time being. I had some ideas to migrate to Bixby and move to OKC by march but stepping back and widening my gaze from a financial standpoint has changed my plans. How I dislike being bound by economical matters. However, things are on the up and up with my fiscal ventures, for I now have two jobs and will, before long, have three streams of income. My roots will rejoice and the trees will blossom forth in stupendous wonder! I will no longer be playing chess with only pawns and a king.
Speaking of pawns, let's talk about fawns. Or maybe just... goats! We're at it again, this time our Canadian friends, with the help of University of Wyoming, have raised a mutant spider-goat!!!! It's not quite as bad as it sounds, though it is rather odd. Spiders happen to produce an incredibly durable fiber that mankind has been drooling over for ages. This company has figured out how to combine one spider gene with a goat to create a spider-silk-milk producing goat that will fuel an industrial revolution of super strength lightweight fibers. Click the goat for a bbc article over the chaps.
Day 2 of the two week training for my new job is on the doorstep. I plan on having a good night's rest for it. I bid your night be full of dreams so sweet and your day as dazzling as the shining sea!
Love,
Gabriel
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Working / out / to south Tulsa / to OKC
Soon I'm going to start adding borders or something to my pictures... they need a little pizazz |
So I'm now working on my resume, I've got to adorn this baby with some of my glorious achievements. Regarding employment, I was supposed to talk to a certain Carol at Starbucks in Utica Square yesterday, but as things unfolded she didn't make it in, leaving me hanging until another day. Now this got me thinking... I'm working at Polo Grill right now in the evenings, though business just isn't quite cutting it. Granted, the weather has an entirely large role in this fact, but it wasn't quite working before this snowpocalypse either. At this point, the place is tying down my evenings when I could be working on a much more fiscally productive level elsewhere. I have an open door into a company down in south south Tulsa (Micahtek), and there is also a new Target that just opened up in Bixby. These, together with an offer to stay in a house right on the banks of the Arkansas River, seem too fruitful to pass by. My strategy for getting to OKC is now shifting to south Tulsa and is getting kicked up to overdrive.
Well Gabe, what might be driving you with such intensity to get down there, you may ask? The most beautiful gem to have ever shown her face in the history, past present and future, of the universe, I say! Yes, a gem... more specifically, I'd say an Emerald. The purest Emerald. An Emerald that is so brilliant and marvelous she can emit her very own light. A light that transcends all the known spectrum and shines into eternity! And by this Emerald, this gem, I do mean a woman. A beautiful woman who puts other women to shame, though she would never in an eon intend it to happen. It's sort of a side-effect, if you will, of being so very beautiful. She bubbles inspiration from the depths of my heart and mind and let it be known that I even have plans to raise OKC to greatness while there.
Be excited and go play in the snow! (If you have it, that is... if not, get some ice from the freezer and pretend it's a brick from a miniature ice castle. See if that helps :)
- Gabriel
...The music floats on the breeze...
Monday, February 7, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Snow bound Love
In conquering the lands, I fulfilled both my pent-up desire for adventure and an errand run, as I returned with necessities to frivolities ranging from drinking water to gin! Speaking of gin, I'll be back. And back I am, colorfully intense drink in hand. Now seems a suitable and necessary time to toast, so foremost here's a cheers to love, ever deserving of praise and admiration! A second toast to innovation and new exciting ventures. I've been having a host of inspirations as of late and I see that the government is doing something to prepare for the creative forces that are bursting forth about the country. A 'Startup America' alliance has been formed, backed by Obama and marked with the brand of such big companies as IBM, Intel, HP, AOL, and Facebook. The gist seems to be for the companies to pour millions into an incubator fund and Facebook is taking a good step in organizing jump starting events across the states. Smart Planet Blog - Startup America. I've been thinking about entrepreneurial incubators and I feel we're on to something here; I'm very glad to see Facebook involved.
While the snows of life may slow you down, never stop venturing for that which your heart yearns. In celebration of this season and all those lovers yearning for their respective loves, I present to you both an awesome picture over which I claim no ownership and this little piece I just crafted:
Season's Love, An Ode of the Heart... for February
This month sees the cold fall of snow. As Winter's majestic hand beckons the earth sleep below a spotless throw. Though through this hibernation the heart of earth resonates, its pulse drums anticipation like the Egyptian nation.
Now when this cool-temped temptress lifts her kiss, the world rejoices at the sheer magnificence of the Sun's bliss. She casts her rays of untainted love to every mount, man and shrub. The earth springs forth in holy green glory as my heart radiates from the beauty she emanates.
Oh what marvelous light!
That surrenders my heart and renders my soul to the ground.
The wind: her graceful walk, caresses my spirit with each wispful step.
The sun: her grin, her smile redirects the flow of the Nile and brings life to a once barren land. The trees rise, their aged wisdom clearing a path to the skies. I look up-
-Suddenly,
I'm face to face.
The purest Beauty is known in this place.
- Gabriel
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Sugar in the Raw
Shifting to an area where snow is hardly seen, Egypt is still in unrest as protesters press to reach 1 million in Tahrir square. Pro-Present Government protesters have moved into the square, screwing up the orderly protests and instigating scrimmages in the streets.
This picture has been deemed epic and will be on display for your viewing pleasure. Egypt, Tahir Square (Cairo)
I am on a quest of employment, morning to be specific. I believe starbucks may find its way into my list of employers very soon... News from the home front is in somewhat of a stasis beyond that, especially characterized by the snow drifts in between my apartment and the road. To compensate for some energy lost to the snowy hibernation, I am indulging in a French press of a dark and decent French roast coffee. The Press (roughly ground coffee that sits in boiling water for a few minutes before filtering) is one of the best ways to brew your coffee. You get a depth and smoothness of flavor that drip machines lack.
Speaking of coffee and things that may accompany it, todays title is a tribute to the pure and golden sugar cane sweetness. A packet of this beautiful substance made its way into my wallet. It floated in there on the wings of a baroque violin concerto; or the wings of an angel, at least.
Ciao,
Gabriel
Friday, January 28, 2011
A siren in the night
I've been frequenting the river-walk near my residence. Along the way I took a hazy portrait of the Public Service Company of Oklahoma across the Arkansas River:
Also, an EMS was about the night on life-saving duties, here is a brief capture of this stallion as she meets the night head on in a fury of light and sound:
Speaking of emergency services, how about Egypt? There is some intense calamity over in that region, and I feel as if the beast that is rearing its head there right now is only the tip of a rather expansive iceberg. The coming days will prove quite intriguing in how they develop. Mubarak (the president of Egypt) has said he is having the government resign and he'll make a new one today, Saturday. This guy must be pretty good to make a new government in a day... but is he not a pivotal part of the former (bad?) government?
I note that China is restricting broadcasts and news concerning the antics in Egypt. Such a seed let loose in China could prove unhealthy to their government.
I've been working to plant new seeds and expand a number of things in my life recently, included on the "list," if you will, are reading materials and exposure to sources of inspiration.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Magnets da Vinci
Whilst doing my laundry, I came across an article about how many Tulsa-area school boards are suing our Attorney General, Scott Pruitt, for directing public school funds to send disabled peoples to private schools. This is interesting, I would think the funds should go specifically to improving the public sector's means of accommodating disabled persons, especially as the disabled population isn't going anywhere.
Perhaps initial investments may seem more costly than utilizing the private options, but the long run will prove the success of our public system if we act towards it. We'll never see our systems evolve if we don't give into them. Just because our financial system is screwed up doesn't mean we should live in fear of (smart) investing, speaking in general, this will only pull us further away from the future and regress our economy to the point of implosion. That's how I feel, at least.
< Scott Pruitt, Attorney General of Oklahoma
Speaking of feelings, let's talk about romance. Magnetism is quite a unique thing, who you're drawn to, what you're drawn to, and some venture to wonder... why you're drawn. Let's not argue with magnetism, rather, let us discuss it. I really just used romance and feelings as a segue, sorry to those wanting to delve into matters of the heart :/. I've been thinking about magnets lately. There exists extensive untapped potential with magnets and electromagnetic forces that I'm 100% convinced will play pivotal roles in the explosion of energy "producing" (more like harnessing) technology. We'll say magnets are the shoulders of the energy revolution! Be excited. They also are going to be involved with innovative mass transit systems. This is something that will be very handy.
I need to set my hand to fixing up this place, layouts, graphics, gizmos and gadgets, etc. Soon enough Red Cobbler will flourish with a brilliant display! In the mean time, thanks for putting up with the clouds ;).
Oh, I was about the town on some errands and I came across a book sale. Naturally I chose to peruse the shelves/disheveled floor space of this little establishment and I found and purchased an old volume on Leonardo da Vinci; it should make for a grandfully enlightening read.
Revel in the glory of each day, love the wind as it caresses your face, take hold of the beauty you find and don't let it go. Now is the time for you pick up your feet and dance with the sun. We haven't a moment to lose, take my hand and we'll waltz until we fly!
Love,
Gabriel
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Monday, January 24, 2011
I think
I've been thinking about many things lately. One of them being the dissent in Ivory Coast.This Alassane fellow seems to have won the public election fair and square and Mr. Gbagbo (incumbent) is refusing to give up power. This situation is enough in and of itself. What I don't get is why Alassane would support a ban on exporting a good that fulfills 1/3 of the global demand for said good, Cocoa (chocolate beans). Cote d'Ivoires number one export is Cocoa, this would undoubtedly harm the economy to the same degree it will harm Gbagbos income, which is the target. It just seems a tad over machiavellian for the guy of the people to do. If I had the money, I would watch and see if the market value for chocolate companies dropped as a response and then I'd invest in them.
Alassane Ouwattara
Laurent Gbagbo
Also, I've been thinking about vertical gardens:
The magnificent things have just begun becoming marvelous incorporations into our architecture. I have an inkling that nature-inspired themes in architecture are going to be huge very soon.
And, for your delight, a little piece I wrote some time ago. I thought it was blog-worthy ;)
May your day be filled with all that you desire from it!
Gabriel